"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.
Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion for the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place to begin the days of your life together.
May your days together be good and long upon the earth."
Apache Blessing
If you are looking for ways to keep your marriage going well, or if your marriage is in trouble, here are a few tips from Felicia Filmore.
Yours for a stable & long marriage,
Neil Knight
3 Things Successful Couples Do to Keep Their Marriage Strong by Felicia Filmore
in Relationships / Marriage (submitted 2011-03-17)
Do you constantly ask yourself "how in the world am I going to save my marriage?" Are there times when you feel like saving your marriage is a long shot? Is it getting to the point where you can hardly think straight, sleep at night or worse, can't perform your job well? If any of these resonates with you, here are some things to keep in mind if you want to save your marriage before it's too late.
Realistic Expectations
Many marriages these days have one person (if not both spouses) with unrealistic expectations for their spouse. Some expectations are so high that you're setting your spouse up for failure. Here are some common expectations that many people have for their husband or wife.
Many marriages these days have one person (if not both spouses) with unrealistic expectations for their spouse. Some expectations are so high that you're setting your spouse up for failure. Here are some common expectations that many people have for their husband or wife.
-In a successful marriage, there is no conflicts whatsoever
-My spouse will know exactly what is on my mind without me having to say anything
-Our marriage will forever be exciting, romantic, and full of passion (just like in the movies)
-My spouse will always cook me dinner when I come home from work
-My spouse will always do things that will please me
-My spouse will always want to spend every waking moment with me
-My spouse will know exactly what is on my mind without me having to say anything
-Our marriage will forever be exciting, romantic, and full of passion (just like in the movies)
-My spouse will always cook me dinner when I come home from work
-My spouse will always do things that will please me
-My spouse will always want to spend every waking moment with me
These are some common marriage expectations that people often make in a marriage. Do any of these seem realistic? Don't forget that by having high expectations for your spouse, you are setting them up to fail. No one is perfect. With that said there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Marriage takes hard work and effort to keep the love alive in your relationship. Reevaluate your expectations with your spouse. Are they too high? Are they realistically possible? If so, your unreasonable expectations could be hurting your marriage.
Do You Make Compromises?
Do you and your spouse make compromises? Being able to make compromises is important when it comes to a healthy marriage. Your spouse can't always be the one bending backwards for you without you giving anything in return. This can mean anything from who's turn it is to pick the movie, pick the toppings on the pizza to sacrificing your time to do you're spouse's favorite hobby or even signing up for marriage therapy. Successful couples make sacrifices for each other because they love each other. Make sure that each individual in a marriage is making compromises.
Do you and your spouse make compromises? Being able to make compromises is important when it comes to a healthy marriage. Your spouse can't always be the one bending backwards for you without you giving anything in return. This can mean anything from who's turn it is to pick the movie, pick the toppings on the pizza to sacrificing your time to do you're spouse's favorite hobby or even signing up for marriage therapy. Successful couples make sacrifices for each other because they love each other. Make sure that each individual in a marriage is making compromises.
Do You Help Your Spouse Foster Their Self-Esteem?
Some people may not realize how unsupportive they are until it's too late. Does your spouse have a dream or a goal and you're not being supportive? There's nothing more important for a husband or wife to have their love one by their side when they are going through a new and scary part in their life. Do you cheer your spouse on when he or she needs it the most? Your support will help your spouse build confidence and self-esteem. Looking out for each other's general well-being is so crucial when it comes having a successful marriage.
Some people may not realize how unsupportive they are until it's too late. Does your spouse have a dream or a goal and you're not being supportive? There's nothing more important for a husband or wife to have their love one by their side when they are going through a new and scary part in their life. Do you cheer your spouse on when he or she needs it the most? Your support will help your spouse build confidence and self-esteem. Looking out for each other's general well-being is so crucial when it comes having a successful marriage.
If you and your spouse have been married for quite some time, it's not rare to see couples who's hit a speed bump in their marriage. Marriage has it's ups and downs (and sometimes plateaus.) It's how you respond that's so important to making it work. Keep these things mentioned above in mind if you're going through a rough patch in your marriage. It could very well save your marriage.
About the Author
Got more marriage related issues? If so, you should definitely check out Winning Your Husband Back, and Save My Marriage Today.
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