3 Things Successful Couples Do To Keep Their Marriage Strong

"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.
Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion for the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. 
Go now to your dwelling place to begin the days of your life together.
May your days together be good and long upon the earth."


Apache Blessing

If you are looking for ways to keep your marriage going well, or if your marriage is in trouble, here are a few tips from Felicia Filmore. 

Yours for a stable & long marriage,
Neil Knight

3 Things Successful Couples Do to Keep Their Marriage Strong   by Felicia Filmore

in Relationships / Marriage    (submitted 2011-03-17)

Do you constantly ask yourself "how in the world am I going to save my marriage?" Are there times when you feel like saving your marriage is a long shot? Is it getting to the point where you can hardly think straight, sleep at night or worse, can't perform your job well? If any of these resonates with you, here are some things to keep in mind if you want to save your marriage before it's too late.

Realistic Expectations
Many marriages these days have one person (if not both spouses) with unrealistic expectations for their spouse. Some expectations are so high that you're setting your spouse up for failure. Here are some common expectations that many people have for their husband or wife.

-In a successful marriage, there is no conflicts whatsoever
-My spouse will know exactly what is on my mind without me having to say anything
-Our marriage will forever be exciting, romantic, and full of passion (just like in the movies)
-My spouse will always cook me dinner when I come home from work
-My spouse will always do things that will please me
-My spouse will always want to spend every waking moment with me

These are some common marriage expectations that people often make in a marriage. Do any of these seem realistic? Don't forget that by having high expectations for your spouse, you are setting them up to fail. No one is perfect. With that said there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Marriage takes hard work and effort to keep the love alive in your relationship. Reevaluate your expectations with your spouse. Are they too high? Are they realistically possible? If so, your unreasonable expectations could be hurting your marriage.

Do You Make Compromises?
Do you and your spouse make compromises? Being able to make compromises is important when it comes to a healthy marriage. Your spouse can't always be the one bending backwards for you without you giving anything in return. This can mean anything from who's turn it is to pick the movie, pick the toppings on the pizza to sacrificing your time to do you're spouse's favorite hobby or even signing up for marriage therapy. Successful couples make sacrifices for each other because they love each other. Make sure that each individual in a marriage is making compromises.

Do You Help Your Spouse Foster Their Self-Esteem?
Some people may not realize how unsupportive they are until it's too late. Does your spouse have a dream or a goal and you're not being supportive? There's nothing more important for a husband or wife to have their love one by their side when they are going through a new and scary part in their life. Do you cheer your spouse on when he or she needs it the most? Your support will help your spouse build confidence and self-esteem. Looking out for each other's general well-being is so crucial when it comes having a successful marriage.

If you and your spouse have been married for quite some time, it's not rare to see couples who's hit a speed bump in their marriage. Marriage has it's ups and downs (and sometimes plateaus.) It's how you respond that's so important to making it work. Keep these things mentioned above in mind if you're going through a rough patch in your marriage. It could very well save your marriage.

About the Author

Got more marriage related issues? If so, you should definitely check out Winning Your Husband Back, and Save My Marriage Today.

The Acquisition of DHARMA, ARTHA and KAMA

We now begin studying the Kama Sutra in detail. The basic principles,  Dharma, Artha and Kama, are defined and we discover that we must practise all three in order to make our lives complete and fulfilling.

"Maya: I loved being with him. I would have done anything just to be with him.
Teacher of the Kama Sutra: What kind of love are you talking about? Real love? If you're looking for real love, you've chosen the hardest task of all, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
Maya: But I was ready. I wanted to give myself to him.
Teacher of the Kama Sutra: Love does not mean surrendering, "losing yourself". It is a call to ripen. Don't look for straight lines, Maya. Life is never like that. "

Yours for fulfilling and blissful relationships,
Neil Knight

PART I.

---

CHAPTER II.

ON THE ACQUISITION OF DHARMA, ARTHA AND KAMA.

Man, the period of whose life is one hundred years, should practise Dharma, Artha, and Kama at different times and in such a manner that they may harmonize together and not clash in any way. He should acquire learning in his childhood, in his youth and middle age he should attend to Artha and Kama, and in his old age he should perform Dharma, and thus seek to gain Moksha, i.e., release from further transmigration. Or, on account of the uncertainty of life, he may practise them at times when they are enjoined to be practised. But one thing is to be noted, he should lead the life of a religious student until he finishes his education.

Dharma is obedience to the command of the Shastra or Holy Writ of the Hindus to do certain things, such as the performance of sacrifices, which are not generally done because they do not belong to this world, and produce no visible effect; and not to do other things, such as eating meat, which is often done because it belongs to this world, and has visible effects.

Dharma should be learnt from the Shruti (Holy Writ), and from those conversant with it.

Artha is the acquisition of arts, land, gold, cattle, wealth, equipages and friends. It is, further, the protection of what is acquired, and the increase of what is protected.

Artha should be learnt from the king's officers, and from merchants who may be versed in the ways of commerce.

Kama is the enjoyment of appropriate objects by the five senses of hearing, feeling, seeing, tasting, and smelling, assisted by the mind together with the soul. The ingredient in this is a peculiar contact between the organ of sense and its object, and the consciousness of pleasure which arises from that contact is called Kama.

[18]Kama is to be learnt from the Kama Sutra (aphorisms on love) and from the practice of citizens.

When all the three, viz., Dharma, Artha, and Kama come together, the former is better than the one which follows it, i.e., Dharma is better than Artha, and Artha is better than Kama. But Artha should be always first practised by the king, for the livelihood of men is to be obtained from it only. Again, Kama being the occupation of public women, they should prefer it to the other two, and these are exceptions to the general rule.

Objection 1.

Some learned men say that as Dharma is connected with things not belonging to this world, it is appropriately treated of in a book; and so also is Artha, because it is practised only by the application of proper means, and a knowledge of those means can only be obtained by study and from books. But Kama being a thing which is practised even by the brute creation, and which is to be found everywhere, does not want any work on the subject.

Answer.

This is not so. Sexual intercourse being a thing dependent on man and woman requires the application of proper means by them, and those means are to be learnt from the Kama Shastra. The non-application of proper means, which we see in the brute creation, is caused by their being unrestrained, and by the females among them only being fit for sexual intercourse at certain seasons and no more, and by their intercourse not being preceded by thought of any kind.

Objection 2.

The Lokayatikas[4] say:—Religious ordinances should not be observed, for they bear a future fruit, and at the same time it is also doubtful whether they will bear any fruit at all. What foolish person will give away that which is in his own hands[19] into the hands of another? Moreover, it is better to have a pigeon to-day than a peacock to-morrow; and a copper coin which we have the certainty of obtaining, is better than a gold coin, the possession of which is doubtful.

Answer.

It is not so. 1st. Holy Writ, which ordains the practice of Dharma, does not admit of a doubt.

2nd. Sacrifices such as those made for the destruction of enemies, or for the fall of rain, are seen to bear fruit.

3rd. The sun, moon, stars, planets and other heavenly bodies appear to work intentionally for the good of the world.

4th. The existence of this world is effected by the observance of the rules respecting the four classes[5] of men and their four stages of life.

5th. We see that seed is thrown into the ground with the hope of future crops.

Vatsyayana is therefore of opinion that the ordinances of religion must be obeyed.

Objection 3.

Those who believe that destiny is the prime mover of all things say:—We should not exert ourselves to acquire wealth, for sometimes it is not acquired although we strive to get it, while at other times it comes to us of itself without any exertion on our part. Everything is therefore in the power of destiny, who is the lord of gain and loss, of success and defeat, of pleasure and pain. Thus we see the Bali[6] was raised to the throne of Indra by destiny, and was also put down by the same power, and it is destiny only that can re-instate him.

Answer.

It is not right to say so. As the acquisition of every object [20]pre-supposes at all events some exertion on the part of man, the application of proper means may be said to be the cause of gaining all our ends, and this application of proper means being thus necessary (even where a thing is destined to happen), it follows that a person who does nothing will enjoy no happiness.

Objection 4.

Those who are inclined to think that Artha is the chief object to be obtained argue thus. Pleasures should not be sought for, because they are obstacles to the practice of Dharma and Artha, which are both superior to them, and are also disliked by meritorious persons. Pleasures also bring a man into distress, and into contact with low persons; they cause him to commit unrighteous deeds, and produce impurity in him; they make him regardless of the future, and encourage carelessness and levity. And lastly, they cause him to be disbelieved by all, received by none, and despised by everybody, including himself. It is notorious, moreover, that many men who have given themselves up to pleasure alone, have been ruined along with their families and relations. Thus, King Dandakya,[7] of the Bhoja dynasty, carried off a Brahman's daughter with evil intent, and was eventually ruined and lost his kingdom. Indra, too, having violated the chastity of Ahalya,[8] was made to suffer for it. In a like manner the mighty Kichaka,[9] who tried to seduce Draupadi, and Ravana,[10] who attempted to gain over Sita, were punished for their [21]crimes. These and many others fell by reason of their pleasures.

Answer.

This objection cannot be sustained, for pleasures, being as necessary for the existence and well being of the body as food, are consequently equally required. They are, moreover, the results of Dharma and Artha. Pleasures are, therefore, to be followed with moderation and caution. No one refrains from cooking food because there are beggars to ask for it, or from sowing seed because there are deer to destroy the corn when it is grown up.

Thus a man practising Dharma, Artha and Kama enjoys happiness both in this world and in the world to come. The good perform those actions in which there is no fear as to what is to result from them in the next world, and in which there is no danger to their welfare. Any action which conduces to the practice of Dharma, Artha and Kama together, or of any two, or even one of them, should be performed, but an action which conduces to the practice of one of them at the expense of the remaining two should not be performed.

How To Meet The Right Man

A few weeks ago, I posted an article especially for guys. Today's article is for the ladies. It's written by Connie Ragen Green and it gives you dating tips. Try them!

"The key to successful dating is ... rather than focusing solely on finding and winning over that one and only right person, use this time in your life to learn about yourself and about relationships and to become a better partner. Being single can offer a unique advantage in the pursuit of good relationships. You have the opportunity to step back, take an inventory, learn and grow, and be far more ready for a healthy relationship. Instead of leaping headlong into the next romance, slow down and make some personal discoveries that will increase your chances of having your future relationships be more successful."

NINA ATWOOD, Be Your Own Dating Service

Yours for getting your man,
Neil Knight


How To Meet The Right Man - Dating Tips to Help You Find and Attract a Special Man Into Your Life

Starting a new relationship can take you closer to the life you are seeking, but you must be sure to connect with the right men from the very beginning. You will want to meet a man with whom you have something in common, someone who respects the fact that you had a life prior to meeting him, and also someone who is interested in growing with you as you build a life together. When you take all of these facts into consideration, the result is a relationship that will help you to become the person you were meant to be.

Finding a man to date that has some things in common with you should not be difficult, but I believe that many women do not even give this a thought when they begin dating seriously. Instead, look for common ground before you even go out on the first date with this new man in your life. The best ways to do this, in my own experience, are to meet men in the places where you already spend time. For example, if you like to play golf or tennis, meet men at the golf courses or on the tennis courts near where you live. If they are groups and organizations you are a part of, such as a church, civic organization, or non-profit group, look for single men who are already involved in those groups.

No matter how old you are or how many relationships you have had in the past, the new man in your life must acknowledge this. In fact, it would be highly unusual if you had no past. Even though you will not want to dwell on these past relationships as you get to know your new guy, you will still want to let him know where you are coming from in this regard. He will have a past and a history as well, so look forward to exchanging information that allows each of you to share only as much as you are comfortable with in the beginning. There will always be more time to share the more intimate details of what you have experienced in the past.

Now that you have found someone you like well enough to date, it's time to start planning your future together. This will take some time and effort on both of your parts. Take the time to explore and discuss the possibilities, and then decide what you will do to create your own memories and traditions. This is one of the most enjoyable parts of starting a new relationship.

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Remember that asking the right questions will help your relationship to succeed. Get started right away by visiting http://startinganewrelationship.com Starting a New Relationship to learn which questions to ask and how to attract the right man for a meaningful relationship.

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Contents of The Kama Sutra

As promised last week, today we look at the "Contents" of the Kama Sutra. From next week, we'll try to go through one chapter at a time.


"Gaze on my lips, and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie."


         William Shakespeare 

Yours for great love relationships,
Neil Knight

PART I.

CHAPTER I.

BEING THE INDEX TO OR CONTENTS OF THE WORK.

Chapter	II.	Observations on the three worldly attainments of Virtue, Wealth and Love.
"	III.	On the study of the Sixty-four Arts.
"	IV.	On the Arrangements of a House, and Household Furniture; and about the Daily Life of a Citizen, his Companions, Amusements, &c.
"	V.	About classes of Women fit and unfit for Congress with the Citizen, and of Friends, and Messengers.

PART II.

ON SEXUAL UNION.

Chapter	I.	Kinds of Union according to Dimensions, Force of Desire, and Time; and on the different kinds of Love.
"	II.	Of the Embrace.
"	III.	On Kissing.
"	IV.	On Pressing or Marking with the Nails.
"	V.	On Biting, and the ways of Love to be employed with regard to Women of different countries.
"	VI.	On the various ways of Lying Down, and the different kinds of Congress.
"	VII.	On the various ways of Striking, and of the Sounds appropriate to them.
"	VIII.	About females acting the part of Males.
"	IX.	On holding the Lingam in the Mouth.
"	X.	How to begin and how to end the Congress. Different kinds of Congress, and Love Quarrels.

[15]

PART III.

ABOUT THE ACQUISITION OF A WIFE.

Chapter	I.	Observations on Betrothal and Marriage.
"	II.	About creating Confidence in the Girl.
"	III.	Courtship, and the manifestations of the feelings by outward signs and deeds.
"	IV.	On things to be done only by the Man, and the acquisition of the Girl thereby. Also what to be done by a Girl to gain over a Man and subject him to her.
"	V.	On the different Forms of Marriage.

PART IV.

ABOUT A WIFE.

Chapter	I.	On the manner of living of a virtuous Woman, and of her behaviour during the absence of her Husband.
"	II.	On the conduct of the eldest Wife towards the other Wives of her husband, and of the younger Wife towards the elder ones. Also on the conduct of a Virgin Widow re-married; of a Wife disliked by her Husband; of the Women in the King's Harem; and of a Husband who has more than one Wife.

PART V.

ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER PEOPLE.

Chapter	I.	On the Characteristics of Men and Women, and the reason why Women reject the Addresses of Men. About Men who have Success with Women, and about Women who are easily gained over.
"	II.	About making Acquaintance with the Woman, and of the efforts to gain her over.
"	III.	Examination of the State of a Woman's mind.
"	IV.	The business of a Go-between.
"	V.	On the Love of Persons in authority with the Wives of other People.
"	VI.	About the Women of the Royal Harem, and of the keeping of one's own Wife.

[16]

PART VI.

ABOUT COURTESANS.

Chapter	I.	On the Characteristics of Men and Women, and the reason why Women reject the Addresses of Men. About Men who have Success with Women, and about Women who are easily gained over.
"	II.	Of a Courtesan living with a Man as his Wife.
"	III.	Of the means of getting Money; of the Signs of a Lover who is beginning to be weary, and of the way to get rid of him.
"	IV.	About a Re-union with a former Lover.
"	V.	Of different kinds of Gain.
"	VI.	Of Gains and Losses, attendant Gains and Losses, and Doubts; and lastly, the different kinds of Courtesans.

PART VII.

ON THE MEANS OF ATTRACTING OTHERS TO ONE'S SELF.

Chapter	I.	On Personal Adornment, subjugating the hearts of others, and of tonic medicines.
"	II.	Of the Means of exciting Desire, and of the ways of enlarging the Lingam. Miscellaneous Experiments and Receipts.

Water-Based, Flavoured, Tingling Lubricants For Enhanced Sex

Here's a tip from Sam Mendes on how to enhance our lovemaking. I have tried a few lubricants, but I didn't know we were spoilt for choice. Try them and take your sexual experience to the next level!!


Yours for powerful, earth-shaking sex,
Neil Knight

Water-Based, Flavored, & My Personal Fav – Tingling Lubricants For Enhanced Sex
 by: Sam Mendes

Lovemaking has always been and will always remain the epitome of love, of heightened intimacy, in any relationship. We all want to do it, and to do it well – to make every sexual encounter the best for our partner, and for ourselves. However, there are times, when in spite of being completely aroused while in the midst of the act, we find the intensity, the passion vanish. And, what we end up with is an unsatisfactory closure to the act along with lots of embarrassment, and with each partner trying to figure out as to what went wrong.

Out of the many reasons that exist for unsatisfactory, boring, and horrible sex sessions, lack of lubrication tops the list. Insufficient lubrication is a real killjoy, having being found to effectively hamper intense, passionate lovemaking. Hence, it becomes all the more important that we do not allow this joy-killer to creep into our bedrooms. And, what comes to assistance is a sex lubricant that provides you and your partner with the required lubrication leading to long-lasting, enhanced, and passionate sex. Most of the sex lubricants are pretty simple when it comes to using them. What is required is a simple application of the solution over the sex organs to get on with the act!

With zillions of sexual lubricants available in the market, getting the right one that works for you is easy. Right from specialized vaginal moisturizers or lubricants, silicone lubricants that also works well for intimate body massages, and the ever popular range of water-based sex lubricants, there’s plenty to choose from. In fact, if you are keen on a little more adventure in the bed, you may also try flavored lubricants, or tingling lubricants. My personal favorite is the Durex Passion Tingling Lubricant, which provides a nice, tingling sensation – something me and my partner, both enjoy. Also, it does not get sticky, and is pretty easy to wash off as well! Occasionally, we have also tried some of K-Y’s water-based lubricants, which are also among the best in terms of quality, and long-lasting feel. Like I mentioned, there are plenty of options to choose from popular brands such as durex, K-Y, Sliquid, Woman’s Wellbeing, ForPlay, Vagisil, Sqweel, and LifeStyles.

So, in case, if you, too, are encountering a dip in the intimacy level while making love due to lack of lubrication, then its time to get wet, in the right places.

About The Author Sam is a part time blogger who also considers himself as a die hard romantic. Being married to his love for the past 12 years, he has experienced all kinds of ups and downs in his relationship. He is proud to have successfully sustained his marriage for so long, and intends to keep it this way throughout his life. He occasionally shares his thoughts on relationships, and issues that surround them, including sexual ones. Read more about sex lubricants at http://www.sexualwellbeing.com/sexual-well-being/lubricants/qxc154472  The author invites you to visit: http://www.sexualwellbeing.com/

Kama Sutra : Introductory Preface

We continue with more background to the Kama Sutra which gives us a deeper understanding about where Vatsyayana sourced his material from. Next week, we'll look at the "Contents" of the Kama Sutra, which will give us a clear idea as to what we'll be studying in future.


There is no remedy for love but to love more.

- Thoreau -


All the best,
Neil Knight

PART I.

THE VATSYAYANA SUTRA.

INTRODUCTORY PREFACE.

SALUTATION TO DHARMA, ARTHA AND KAMA.

In the beginning, the Lord of Beings created men and women, and in the form of commandments in one hundred thousand chapters laid down rules for regulating their existence with regard to Dharma,[1] Artha,[2] and Kama.[3] Some of these commandments, namely those which treated of Dharma, were separately written by Swayambhu Manu; those that related to Artha were compiled by Brihaspati; and those that referred to Kama were expounded by Nandi, the follower of Mahadeva, in one thousand chapters.

Now these 'Kama Sutra' (Aphorisms on Love), written by Nandi in one thousand chapters, were reproduced by Shvetaketu, the son of Uddvalaka, in an abbreviated form in five hundred chapters, and this work was again similarly reproduced in an abridged form, in one hundred and fifty chapters, by Babhravya, an inhabitant of the Punchala (South of Delhi) country. These one hundred and fifty chapters were then put together under seven heads or parts named severally—

1st. Sadharana (general topics).

2nd. Samprayogika (embraces, etc.).

[13]

3rd. Kanya Samprayuktaka (union of males and females).

4th. Bharyadhikarika (on one's own wife).

5th. Paradika (on the wives of other people).

6th. Vaisika (on courtesans).

7th. Aupamishadika (on the arts of seduction, tonic medicines, etc.).

The sixth part of this last work was separately expounded by Dattaka at the request of the public women of Pataliputra (Patna), and in the same way Charayana explained the first part of it. The remaining parts, viz., the second, third, fourth, fifth, and seventh were each separately expounded by—

Suvarnanabha (second part).
Ghotakamukha (third part).
Gonardiya (fourth part).
Gonikaputra (fifth part).
Kuchumara (seventh part), respectively.
Thus the work being written in parts by different authors was almost unobtainable, and as the parts which were expounded by Dattaka and the others treated only of the particular branches of the subject to which each part related, and moreover as the original work of Babhravya was difficult to be mastered on account of its length, Vatsyayana, therefore, composed his work in a small volume as an abstract of the whole of the works of the above-named authors.

Seduction Tips for Men - The Five Vital

Today's article is for guys, especially those of us who are not popular with the opposite sex. If you've been trying in vain to woo the woman of your dreams, here are five tips from Julian Manley. Good Luck!!

But seduction isn't  making someone do what they don't want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already. 
- Waiter Rant


Yours for success with gorgeous women,
Neil Knight


Men of all ages repeatedly keep trying to seduce women and many of those men just keep failing miserably. Do not become one of them, embarrassing yourself in front of beautiful women and your friends all at once, by striking out repeatedly. This article outlines the top five seduction tips for men when it comes to wooing a woman and stimulating her interest in you. If you follow the five tips in this article, and do not wander from them, you will have much better luck seducing the woman of your dreams and developing a relationship.

1) Upgrade Your Appearance

When it comes to seducing women, the first thing you should do is clean up your appearance. Have you been striking out lately? If so, your appearance could be the number one reason. I don't care if you have washboard abs or a smooth face. I'm talking about being clean-shaven, showered, and dressed well. When approaching women, make sure you have shaved recently, your hair is groomed, and you have showered within the last 24 hours. In addition, all of this will be thrown out the window if you look like the raggedy man, wearing frayed or grubby clothes.

2) Practise Good Manners

Treating and talking to women with respect and consideration will help you seduce them much more quickly than treating them as if they are second-rate citizens. Women do not like to be treated like a pet or like second-class citizens so do not talk to them in this manner. And even in these modern times, manners and courtesy are very important in the seduction game. Pull out a woman's chair, open a door for her, hold her hand as she exits and enters a vehicle, guide her up steps and - remember Walter Raleigh - help her step over puddles on the sidewalk or on roads.

3) Punctuality Matters

Believe it or not, punctuality is a big thing with a lot of women. If you have a date planned for a specific time, make sure you are on time. If you know you will be late, have the courtesy to call your date and let her know you are running late. Make sure you ask your date if you would like to wait for you to show up or if they would like to reschedule the date for another day and time.

4) Focus on your Date

When on a date with a woman, make sure you focus all of your attention on her. Women absolutely hate it when they are on a date and have to make a major effort to hold the attention of their man. Always listen to what your date has to say, no matter if it interests you or not: make sure that you don't come across as bored or distracted. You should be prepared to start the conversation with a topic that will get her talking - but stay away from politics and religion!

5) Make her Feel Irresistible

Women who feel irresistible because their man makes them feel that way will keep coming back for more. Tell her how attractive you find her, how interesting she is, and how intelligent she is. Of course, if she's not those things, you don't want her running after you, so don't say them! And, if she is those things, don't overdo it, otherwise she'll either think you're insincere or get bored with you. And last but not least, in the initial stages of your courtship, do not make any sexual comments, as this might turn her off to you for good.


Julian Manley is an expert on dating advice for men. Click here for more super Seduction Tips For Men. Sign up for Julian's free newsletter jam-packed with excellent advice and up your game super-fast with a free copy of "Secrets About Women That Most Men Will Never Know". Get it all NOW at http://www.winanywoman.com.